Wearing a Piece of Myself

Last spring, I bought a pair of really, really cute jeans at the thrift shop. I absolutely loved them and wore them all the time—and with great pleasure. But since they exposed too much of my lower legs while biking, and biking is my only mode of transportation, I just couldn’t wear them during the cold winter. Way too cold on my legs! That’s why I was so happy a while back when spring finally arrived, and I could pull my cute jeans out of the closet again. But here’s the thing: they had apparently gotten way too big. Without even realizing it, I’d lost weight over the past six months, and those awesome jeans just didn’t fit anymore. I was really bummed. My first idea was to give them to someone who could wear them, but I had a very strong feeling that God was telling me to wait a little longer and give Him a chance to guide me. So I put the jeans back in the closet and in “my inner freezer”: for now, I’m not worrying about it and I’m putting it aside for a while, and I’ll look at it again later.

A few weeks later, my sister asked me if I’d repair a dress for her little girl. It’s not the first time she’s asked me something like this. My niece herself has often asked me to fix her broken teddy bear, headband, or clothes. While I often don’t know where to start myself, E doesn’t seem to doubt for a second that I can do it. She genuinely assumes that I’ll return a perfect item to her, and strangely enough, she’s always been right so far. She has more confidence in my skills than I do myself, and that helps me, because it pushes me to go beyond my own limits and tap into creative resources I didn’t even know I had. Anyway, my sister asked me to repair that dress, and while I was working on it, I suddenly wondered if I’d be able to take in that pair of jeans myself. It seemed like a challenge, and honestly a bit of a stretch, because I wasn’t at all sure I could do it. But what did I have to lose, after all? The jeans were just lying in the closet anyway. I looked up how to do it online and found this page on The Green List, a Dutch blog about sustainable living. So I just went for it, and you know what? I DID IT!

I tapered the legs on both sides, so now they fit perfectly again! What I especially loved about it was—and still is—the spiritual aspect of it. When I wear these jeans now, they feel like “a part of me.” They’re no longer just a nice pair of jeans from a thrift store, but a pair of jeans into which I’ve put a little bit of myself. My insecurities, my courage, and my talents. That makes wearing them extra special, which really gives me a great feeling. I was—and still am—really happy that I was able to do something like this. I never knew I had this in me!

I get the same feeling—that sense of wearing a part of myself—when I wear scarves I’ve crocheted myself. Not all the scarves I crochet are for myself. I give most of them away to people who really need them, but I do keep some for myself. When I wear them—with color combinations that really suit me—it always feels very special. My personality is woven into that one unique piece of clothing.

It has inspired me to start embroidering my own clothes as well. I’ve been experimenting a lot with this over the past few weeks, and I’m really having the time of my life with it! For the past few weeks, I’ve been embroidering a tote bag (see the photo above), and yesterday I embroidered my first T-shirt with flowers. Last week I also embroidered a heart on a kitchen towel and a flower on my backpack, and now I’m embroidering one of my sweaters. I find it exciting and fun, and it offers so many possibilities! I can develop and express my own style—and with it, my identity and personality. I can show the world: this is who I am. But above all, I can show myself: this is who I am, I have a personality and an opinion, and I’m allowed to express them. For me, that really takes a lot of courage and daring. And the fact that these are pieces of clothing that no one else has—and are therefore super unique—feels really, really good.

Soon, at the end of July—God willing—my best friend will give birth to her first child, and I’ll get to be the godmother of that little baby. I’ve already crocheted a little blanket for her, but now I also plan to embroider bibs and other baby items with her name on them. I’m already looking forward to it!

I might keep the tote bag I’m currently embroidering for myself, but I’ve already promised a very good friend of mine that the second one will be hers. And when I was searching for a design for her on Pinterest, I suddenly had an (God-given?) inspiration.
How cool would it be if I made tote bags with mental health quotes and a matching illustration? Like ‘Grow through what you go through’, ‘Believe in yourself’, ‘It's okay to not be okay’, or ‘Different is beautiful’. You can find more ideas on my Pinterest board, by the way! And just imagine—thinking big here—that over the years I could make a whole bunch of tote bags for other people, and that together we could make the world a slightly better and more tolerant place? Wouldn't that be super cool!

The best part of all is that embroidering clothes actually started for and by my sister and her kids. Six months ago, they asked me to embroider their initials on their new scout uniforms, and I really noticed how much I enjoyed doing it. I didn’t do anything with it for a long time after that, until now. And now, a whole new world is opening up for me. Embroidery has brought me peace for years, ever since I had to stop working in 2021. But lately, I’ve been doing it more often, and it brings me a lot of peace, creative energy, and satisfaction. Repairing clothes also gives me an incredible sense of fulfillment.

The reason I’m writing this blog post isn’t to get people into embroidery. It is to encourage people not to just throw things away, but to try to repair them themselves first. I myself initially thought about buying a new (read: secondhand) pair of jeans, but I’m very glad I took the effort to repair an “old” pair, because the satisfaction and joy are a thousand times greater than just buying something new. For me, needle and thread seem to be my “thing,” but for other people it might be about fixing that broken vacuum cleaner, that clock that’s been stopped for ages, or simply sanding down and painting the garage door—even if it’s not exactly something on their list of favorites. The joy it brings afterward can be immense, and can make the work worthwhile.

But also: my sister, niece, and nephew asked me to sew and embroider those things before I even knew I could do it. They believed in me before I believed in myself. Their trust in me has taken me further. It encourages me to give that same gift to others, and to show them that I believe in them, even before they believe in themselves. And in this way, I can help them grow. It is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to others. My hope is that this blog post may help us all grow in this area.